Just Do It

“However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.” Acts 20:24

So often I forget that we are living in the midst of a race. That there is a CLEAR finish line in life and that it can end in one of two ways.  Either we know Jesus or we don’t, and based on that we either go to Heaven or Hell.  I absolutely have to stop forgetting this.  People I know are going to Hell and if we as individuals can not be bold enough to confront people with that truth we are no better than Judas. Why do we act like we have so MUCH time? Who in your life do you need to share the gospel with? Who do you know that needs to be invited to church? Who in your life just needs  compassion and hope?!? If we know that Jesus is the ONLY hope people have, WHY do we insist on keeping that to ourselves? Why do we give excuses for keeping “quiet” and not wanting to “offend” people. My goal this week is to STOP apologizing and just DO what God commanded!

^“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:19-20

¹⁹Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in^[a] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, ²⁰and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

AMAZING things!!

It has been SO incredibly long since I have even THOUGHT about writing. SO much has happened and God has been at work in a HUGE way in my life. The biggest change is that I lost my job. ABSOLUTELY the hardest thing that’s happened to me this year, if not in my life. We won’t dwell though because what God has been doing SINCE that moment has been absolutely MIND BLOWING. ALSO, I have been sick now for about a month, NO lie. Pneumonia will knock you out! I don’t want to talk about that either because, AGAIN, what God is doing in my life is amazing! He has brought me back to that place of desperation for Him, for that absolute NEED for a savior DAILY! I feel as if my walls, my towers, my TEMPLE was destroyed and over the past (almost two) months I have been REBUILDING with ONLY the things God is giving me. I could give you a million reasons why I lost my job. All I know is that it took that to bring me here. There is definitely still pain and loss, there is DEFINITELY still struggles but it makes God THAT much bigger. So much of who I was two months ago was founded in WHAT I did, WHO I worked for, and HOW much I loved my job. None of that had to do with God. Of course, I gave Him all the credit for bringing me there, but my WORK defined me NOT my Jesus. Now, all I have is my Jesus and I have never felt so free. God is refining me and building me up for SOMETHING, I don’t know what but I can feel it. I’m hardcore volunteering at Newspring with Students and in the offices and it has given me a greater purpose than I ever had when I worked for money. I am consistently inspired, encouraged, and challenged to be more like Christ EVERY time I walk into the doors at Newspring. THAT alone is a HUGE blessing! I am able to hang out with students on a weekly basis and through their love for Christ I am rediscovering the PASSION for God and His word that got lost when I decided to pursue the world. Most of all, I am whole heartedly falling in love with Jesus more every day. I keep waiting for this feeling to go away, to fade with time, or to get discouraged and angry with God. Instead everyday it’s like my heart GROWS and my love for God expands even more. If I can love God this much (more than I ever thought possible) then how much does God love me…I literally can NOT even begin to fathom an answer to that question and that thought absolutely brings me to my knees again. I am so blessed.

“Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;” 1 Corinthians 6:19

“The sound of rejoicing in Jerusalem could be heard far away.” Nehemiah 12:43

“No one could distinguish the sound of the shouts of joy from the sound of weeping, because the people made so much noise. And the sound was heard far away.” Ezra 3:13

“For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing.” 2 Corinthians 2:15

God is ALL about making HIS name famous and not ours, and NOW so am I. I am rebuilding God’s temple IN me. Like it says in Romans 12:1 I am learning daily how to offer myself as a living sacrifice to God, using MY life for HIS kingdom. I am praying that everyone I know, that everyone I encounter is aware of what God has been doing in my life AND I am praying that they too can have an encounter with the creator. EVEN, if it takes losing a job. Yes, I might be praying for YOU to lose your job! Sorry

InGia

My friend Liz left for India a week ago! The last time she went to India…I was with her. Two years ago today I was getting ready to head to Bangladesh with a team I barley knew and a passion I had yet to find. I love South Asia. There is something about the culture that is so refreshing. There is something about the lost-ness that is so utterly heartbreaking it is literally hurting to talk about it. I can not believe how much has happened in two years. How much I’ve grown closer to the Lord, but at the same time I struggle with the same things I struggled with then. I get stuck inside of my own body and can not seem to find the boldness. I know I should be bold in Christ and I am bold in my faith, but I am not bold in my own self. I would give anything to ride in a rickshaw again, to barter for cool jewelry, and to share Jesus with someone who has never heard of His love and compassion. Basically, I’d like to go back to South Asia. I feel like that’s a selfish desire right now with all the debt I’m in and money I should be saving, but I still want to go. I love Henna, Saris, and nose rings. Something I thought I’d never say…I even miss the smells. Sometimes I catch a whiff of something that vaguely reminds me of  THAT smell, and it feels like being homesick. (this is not a good smell) Anyways, if you read this then you should say a prayer for my friend Liz!! She’s backpacking through India this summer for about 7 weeks and sharing Jesus with people!! Thanks–Meg

I love this…

show & tell

I really liked show & tell in elementary school…so we’re going to do a little show & tell today!

My favorite books (you should read them!)

Last Weekend

Last weekend was FANTASTIC! I watched my best friend graduate from College after 5 (LONG) years!!  I finally said goodbye to Lander and Greenwood. I feel like I can finally MOVE on from that part of my life! I feel like I graduated (haha)!  Then I watch my little brother turn 6. Which made me think about where I was 6 years ago. I didn’t know God 6 years ago, I didn’t know most of the people I know & love today, and I definitely didn’t get along with most of my family. It makes you really realize how in control God truly is. I thought Lander would be the worst thing that ever happened, it was one of the best. I thought that leaving Lander would be the worst thing that ever happened, it was one of the best. I am continually pursuing Christ now because of someone in college (a college I didn’t want to go to) spoke truth into my life. I met my BEST friends in college, and they will ALWAYS be my best friends!  My mom and I are closer now than we’ve every been and when I left home after high school I never wanted to see her again. AND to top it all off…after 5 years of praying, begging, and hoping…my MOM accepted Christ on Sunday at Newspring! WHOA! I have no more words for how amazing that is! Thank you jESUS for a Fantastic weekend!

Being Bold!

I am all about being BOLD and REAL lately. I don’t want to hold back anymore. I don’t want to close off any part of me. I do NOT want to be fake, shallow, or timid..any more! If I don’t want to do something and I don’t have to do it…I’m going to say no. If you ask my opinion I am going to tell you the truth! AND I am going to STOP apologizing for who I am AND what I believe. YES I believe Jesus is the only way to heaven…NO I don’t believe you can find another way. YES I love sleeping in and watching BAD tv shows and NO I don’t really like Monday mornings. YES…actually you look terrible in THOSE jeans. NO I don’t want to hang out with you anymore. YES I love Jesus with all of my heart and mind and YES I am terrified of what he demands for my life. YES I do have issues with trusting people. YES I do wish I had a better childhood. NO I do not think I am alone…anymore.

That is only the begining. I am hoping and praying that the MORE I am REAL, the more I take down the facade of pleasing others and hiding the MORE Jesus will be revealed in me. I want to DESTROY myself, my flesh, and my sin so that ONLY Jesus is left in me. That requires BOLDNESS and REALNESS.

“The wicked man flees though no one pursues, but the righteous are as bold as a lion.” Proverbs 28:1

This song WILL change your life! Volume 1

Run Kid Run-Freedom

Here are the lyrics= FANTASTIC!

Oh my chains,
I can’t disengage,
I don’t believe that I want to,
one hand sings your praise, the other brings me shame,
I have selfishness to blame…

And I’m singing for freedom,
I know I’m not the only one praying to the one,
who can bring me this freedom,
I’m ready for change, change, change, change…

Looking down I lay,
I keep holding my chains,
no longer bound but here I stay,
I scream father please,
I need rescuing,
I need you and you alone…

And I’m singing for freedom,
I know I’m not the only one praying to the one,
who can bring me this freedom,
I’m ready for, I’m ready for…

Still you patiently await yet I won’t just let go,
I see you and you alone,
“Come follow me. Despair has come so you can see release.”

So I’m singing for freedom,
So I’m singing for freedom…
The time has come-separation lost the war to love,
take my hand, grace is found-yeah-where your words begin,
you’re alive, you’re alive,
in the waking of new life,
take my hand, in the end there’s only love…

(ooooo) there’s only love (oooo)

there’s only singing for freedom,
i know i’m not the only one praying to the one,
who can bring me this freedom,
i’m ready for, i’m ready for-
father please, i need rescuing, i need you and you alone…

**This is SUCH a great rock love ballad…for Jesus! My favorite line is “I scream father please, I need rescuing, I need you and you alone..” Everytime I hear it, it reminds me of those moments in my life when I have surrendered like that. Fallen on my knees, screamed out, I NEED you! This song makes me feel  a thousand different things…enjoy! **

The Poop Yard

I’ve been thinking about this blog for a while now…actually every morning when I leave my apartment I think about it. In our apartment complex there are LOTS of animals, not just dogs but cats everywhere. Most people walk their dogs out in the grassy area (duh!) and LOTS of people make a conscious decision NOT to pick up their dog’s poop…thanks for that.  What I’m getting at is that there is LOTS of poop in the grass! Most of the time I stay on the sidewalk away from the poop field, but some days my car is parked off to the side and its just quicker to walk through the grass. Every time I do this I think “Life is SO much like walking through a yard of poop!” I know it’s not a normal thought, I’m not a normal girl. It’s true. When walking through a yard of poop…you should probably look down or else you will land in a BIG pile of crap. Just like life it’s important to know what you’re walking through! We have to look down, we have to be careful where we step. Get it so far? HOWEVER, another important lesson to remember is that when walking (and looking down) you ALWAYS have to look a little bit ahead. If you focus only on WHAT you’re stepping on you’re going to miss what you’re ABOUT to step in! In life we have to be aware of what’s going on around us but ALSO be aware of where our next step is taking us. I need to have a plan for tomorrow but you don’t always have to know where you’ll be 5 years from now. It’s ridiculous to focus on my car…which is several yards away. My car can not tell me where the poop is, my car may be the ultimate goal but it is not going to keep me out of crap! All this being said…there are still days where you just step in crap. Maybe you just catch the corner a little or maybe its a fresh one, after it rains, in your favorite shoes…yea sometimes it happens.

Memo

If you haven’t gotten the memo yet…I write this for me, not for you (whoever you are) and I write this blog to get my feelings  and thoughts OUT of my head. I haven’t written in a while, this is typical. I don’t think I will ever be a true “blogger” but I’m ok with that.  Not quite ready to write again. ok…bye.